“I’m not sorry that I loved you and I wept the day I left,” Beth whispered.
She watched as the rain disappeared allowing the sun to peak through gray clouds. Brilliant radiant beams of light filtered onto the deserted street. Clouds parted for the rainbow that arched across the rain washed sky. Turning on the open sign she watched her husband walk slowly toward her passing through the sun streaked morning. Six months ago she had left him and she wasn’t sorry. He was here now and her heart leapt. Beth knew he was here with hat in hand, asking her to give him one more chance. She turned from the window. Her old boyfriend sat at a nearby table.
“What are the chances both of them would show up on the same morning?” She thought.
Beth’s husband entered the diner. Walking to Beth he took her hands in his and spoke softly.
“I haven’t had a drink since you left. I’ll never take another drink as long as I live. I want you to come home. I’ll work it out. I promise.”
She had missed the melody of his voice; the timbre touched her, her heart mourned. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. His wrinkled clothes hung loose on his 6’3” frame. She remembered the first time she saw him. A tingle went up her spine and she actually trembled when they shook hands. He was the most beautiful man she had ever seen.
“I’m in trouble with this one,” She remembered thinking. When they touched a part of her soul felt as though they were two magnets being drawn together. Another part felt the magnets turn, with the force going in opposite directions, trying to separate them. Beth deliberately turned her magnet to accept his. She wanted him. He was vibrant and Beth adored him immediately. She fit perfectly under his left arm.
In the beginning she didn’t notice he drank to excess, but as time passed she realized he had a problem. She made it hers and tried to keep him busy and happy so he wouldn’t drink, but that soon failed, as all other efforts did and when she was two months pregnant she left him. She had managed somehow these past six months. Working in the local diner kept her close to her small apartment and they didn’t care she was pregnant. The odds that her husband stayed sober weren’t good, but she missed him with every breath. She was going to need help soon so she had to make a decision where that help was going to come from. She didn’t want to saddle her old flame with a baby and a drunken ex-husband, even though he said he loved her enough to accept the child and whatever trouble followed.
She knew she wasn’t going to allow him to fix her life. She made the mess and she would clean it up herself. Hadn’t her grandfather taught her well enough? She would hear a rumble from his grave if she put her problems onto someone else before trying every option she could think of. She wished she was 12 again back on the farm. She longed for the days she sat at the piano playing as her grandfather sat on the porch on a Maine
“You go home now,” Beth replied softly. “I’ll come over after work and we can talk.”
Lee had no choice but to leave. Leave knowing the old boyfriend had a good chance of getting his wife. He had more money, a house, and a better track record. Lee had spent most of his adult life drunk; the old boyfriend had spent his life earning money and an education. Lee thought himself a fool for even trying to compete. He was a loser, had always been one and saw no reason to think he could make a change now. But, he had to change; he had to have her back with him. Back in his arms, back in his life, back in his bed. He needed to able to reach for her in the night and have her lying next to him, her body close to his, her warmth surrounding him, caring for him, loving him.
“Leave and wait. You want me to leave and wait?”
Beth gently touched his arm. “Yes, I’ll see you soon.”
Lee didn’t think she would come home, he didn’t think she believed him. He had imagined his life a whole lot differently when he ran away from home at 14. He never wanted to be like his dad, but here he was finishing out a life his dad died too young to complete. Lee watched Beth from outside the diner a few minutes before walking down the middle of the empty street. He carried his burden with heavy steps, his head down, his heart sick and his destiny in her hands.
Lee knew he had no control over her decision, but he had control over his… He lifted his head, straightened his shoulders and picked up his step. The clouds parted bathing him in the warmth of the sun as he made his way home.
Beth sat next to Mark, the man she didn’t choose. The man she realized would have made her life easier, better, more stable. But, she didn’t feel drawn to Mark the way she was drawn to Lee. Her soul didn’t yearn to be a part of him the way her soul yearned to be with Lee. Mark loved her, Lee loved and needed her. Mark would take care of her; she would take care of Lee. She would be safe with Mark. Her heart would soar with Lee. Beth took Marks face in her hands, kissed his cheek and whispered, “Thank you for helping me, for being here beside me, for loving me.”
No comments:
Post a Comment